“I totally do not remember last night”

“Hi Brad, so that last tequila shot really put me over the edge. I totally do not remember the last hour or so of last night. Did anything happen?”

Really, you don’t remember when we made out? You don’t remember the way you gazed into my eyes longingly? You don’t remember the fireworks that resulted once we played tonsil hockey? There is no way I was imagining that whole thing, it was magical.

Do I tell her that we made out last night and that I really enjoyed it? Do I hope her friends tell her what happened and then she recalls, calls me back asking me to come over and watch some Football and play Mario Kart a halftime (because she’s that girl who likes sports and videogames)?

The repercussions from my side:

1) I feel like a slime ball.

2) I probably had false hope at the end of the night that she might have been into me.

3) She might or might not be lying. On one hand, if she’s lying, it’s because she is trying to convince herself that we didn’t make out because it was a mistake. If she’s telling the truth, then I wasn’t good enough company so she had to drink herself silly to bear it.

4) Next time we hang out, I will be looking at her wondering what the heck is appropriate for me to say.

—-

All in all, this situation blows. Yes, she isn’t feeling good because of a bender the night before. I am not feeling good because well she doesn’t remember the Can’t Hardly Wait style kiss that we shared. Damn you Jose Cuervo!

If you’ve endured this ordeal in the past, share a story with us. A bag of Doritos Cooler Ranch chips to the best story.

—

You really don’t remember?

Brad

1 August 2011 ·